Pain is permanent.

Pain is permanent.

It binds me together while it pulls me apart.

I am loose.

I am wrenched.

I am torn.

I am turned to stone.

I am laced up corsets and taped down skin.

Pain lives in each movement:

a little too slow, a bit too careful.

My body sags now under the weight of it.

My fucking sanity sags under the weight of it.

Watch how I navigate it at an expert level: who could be more of an expert than me?

I live here.

I was born here.

I bounce and play in it, I smile and laugh with you so very convincingly, as if I am like you-

while fire eats me from the inside.

You

won't

ever

know

and I am forever thankful for it.

I want no one to know. This isn't a place anyone should know.

You take my expertise as proof the fire doesn't exist-

which is funny in a way.

Try putting out a fire by telling it that it doesn't exist.